This “Heroine” overacts …….
Written (more so collected magazine clippings), directed (insincerely as if he was in a rush) and co-produced (aesthetically in the league of a DD TV show) by Madhur Bhandarkar, this movie just does not live up to its hype.
This movie professing to be true to life, lives in its own weird reality. The boyfriend, the PR agent, even the hero’s wife can get you a part as a heroine in a movie. Noone in this reality has apparently ever heard of auditions !!!! If you believe in Bhandarkar’s bottom line, a cricketer upon seeing his “mehbooba” on the big screen in the stadium gets the power to hit sixes and centuries !!!! Make her the coach !!! An MMS clip makes a movie a hit, screw the crores others spend to promote their flicks. Madhur’s material treats the audience as dim-witted suckers…. All this would have been forgiven had the movie been a parody, but this one purports to be a “slice of life” !!!! We are left wondering which weird, whacko, way-out world the people making this film inhabit. Check out especially the red-light area scene where our heroine goes to learn about the “real” people she portrays.
Starting with an expletive, the story unfolds in an episodic manner depicting a number of wrong decisions an actress can make with her life – fall in love with a married guy – tick, do a movie where she is just a prop – tick, do an arty movie which is box office kryptonite – tick, you get the point. There is absolutely no semblance of suspense or texture or layers to the plot.
Infact the movie could have showcased so many twists and turns like say a botched plastic surgery, losing one’s looks, marriage, pregnancy etc. which are much more relevant problems for an actress. But no, Mahi’s personal agenda (bipolar disorder, which men to bed, which PR person to hire etc.) takes precedence over the movie’s portrayal of her professional life. Also the screenplay is crammed with so many instances that the focus is completely lost. Add to it a lousy soundtrack (Salim-Sulaiman), zero humor and an absent editor and all that the audience is left with is 148 wasted minutes of their life.
Coming to the acting department, there is more hamming here than any pigsty in the world. Most of the character actors give cringe-worthy performances. Kareena Kapoor looks super and acts competently but this script would have made even an Oscar winner look awkward. Arjun Rampal as her obsession is ok. Randeep Hooda is below par as the other guy. (Shudders, Madhur’s next movie “Cricketer”). Then there is cleavage(Shahana Goswami), a parade of starlets, an aging Helen, a Bengali director, a faux Khan, a pushy PR person (Divya Dutta) and the entire fashion/page 3 extras cast.
The dialogue by Niranjan Iyengar comes up with gems like “Why do you take her words seriously? Because you (person C) don’t take me seriously” Are you serious ? But its not all bad, some lines which Helen says at the award function are fantastic as are the last couple of lines of the film. So that’s a perfect 10 for the dialogue………..out of more than a thousand. All the DoP, Mahesh Limaye can do is make KK(K?) look delectable. The other frames are as garish and out of sync as the script.
To sum up if a regular multiplex ticket costs Rs. 300 this movie is not worth the paper the ticket is printed on. You would demand your money back even if you snuck in free into the theater. It personifies the dictionary meaning of the term “Made for TV”.

SAUMIL BHANSHALI